Azileigh

Reflections Refracted Self Impeding Soulful Sanity Loving Never Loved Neglected Self Preservation Undetected Harmful Consiousness Fading Brittle Pride Mocking Undeniable Surrender Finding Fickle Happiness Despising Mindless Gratification Empty Numbing Pleasure Inevitable Individual Depletion Serenity Refracted Reflections

Words get caught in my throught Their edges catch and scrape against the flow I bleed with the effort to keep them hidden I seep into myself- Knowing how you hate the stains... Don't you understand? I cant speak to you stop asking questions If I dare to open up, Ill stain you With my insecurities and my conspiracies... With everything that IS me. Dont you understand? Ever unsteady, ever unstable... After a life of eggshells- Empty, sleepless nights I find I am not alone comforted yet confused, I wonder- Why do you want to be here?

You are my symphony. Filling my heart with complicated happiness. 'Cause you're somethin' else- just somethin' else... Its all your fault, you know. I could never listen to the ordinary tunes; never again. 'Cause you're somethin' else- just somethin' else... Stroking a fire in the coldest of souls. Such a discrace that I could never find words to rhyme with your beautiful face. 'Cause you're somethin' else- just somethin' else. Why you shine you light on me I'll never understand. Never impatient, demanding; never spitful. You are always there, even when I push you away with all I have. 'Cause you're somethin' els

I'm fine. Don't worry. Stop asking, the answer won't change. Give up- I have... See me? 'Course not. Never do. No point- Just sayin'. Don't care? Me either. Go away...

My heart beats fast... Slowly strangling on strings of words I'm too cowardly to say. Think! Think! Whats more important; your sanity or mine? Crawling through the vast mess of my mind- will i ever escape? Think! Think! My mind is too crowded... for me AND you. Leave me be I beg of you. Your presence here is the source of my insanity. Think! If I could just manage to Think! Id stand a chance- But, my love, you do know... you'll first have to let go of the strings?

I look out the window as my coffe grows cold. I feel your tension stagnant...dour. You want to know why- why you are here. I wish to be direct. I feel it is best. I don't like you... I don't love you- anymore... Just leave my life be... but the words; they wont come. My mouth becomes dry with unspoken words sitting on my toungue making me want to gag. I take a sip Of my cold coffee but it is bitter just adding to the bitterness of the words between my locked lips. You sigh out of boredom- I know. So I fumble for something- anything placating to say... And so it goes I fall into the same routine. I ask how things